To the High School/College Graduate:
1. Life is not fair - get used to it. If you screw up, it is not anybody’s fault so don't whine about your mistakes, - just learn from them. Dwelling on a problem stops you from progressing. Your kindergarten teacher was right, get up when you fall down. By the same token, fear and guilt will paralyze you to not do anything.
2. The world won't care about your self esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. Life is not divided into semesters, you don't get summers off, and very few employees are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
3. There is no box. Teachers like to keep telling you to think outside the box. What they don’t tell you is that there is no box.
4. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity. You will not make $40,000 a year right out of high school. When you get out of college, you won't be a vice president of some company with a car phone until you earn it.
5. Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way by paying your bills, cleaning your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are - so before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room and listen to them.
6. Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades. They will give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. Television is not real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs
7. Contrary to what TV implies, smoking does not make you look cool It makes you look moronic and ditto for purple hair and pierced body parts. Look and act professional when necessary.
8. Living fast and dying young is romantic, only until you see one of your peers at room temperature. Don’t wait for “hella bgad shit” to happen until you make a change. Learn the meaning of personal accountability.
9. If you think your professors were tough, wait until you get a boss. Bosses don’t have tenure. Be nice to nerds. Chances are you will end up working for them. Learn how to network.
10. What one does when nobody is watching is the greatest predictor of success. HERES A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: HARD WORK RUNS IN MY FAMILY... SO IF YOU EVER MEET ME - BRING YOUR LUNCH! CAUSE IM NEVER SATISFIED!
HERES A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
HARD WORK RUNS IN MY FAMILY... SO IF YOU EVER MEET ME - BRING YOUR LUNCH! CAUSE IM NEVER SATISFIED!