FUSION TRAINING SYSTEM

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Pother

Pother is an unpleasant mental state that is characterized by such effects as irritation and distraction from one's conscious thinking. It can lead to emotions such as frustration and anger.

 

Top 10 List of Things That Annoy Me The Most

1. Reading pointless emails is annoying! On an average day, I get between 75 and 100 emails - probably 1/3 of which are random inquiries about training, nutrition, supplementation, corrective exercise - you name it. Let's assume that each email takes 3 minutes to read and answer. That's 75 minutes per day answering random emails - doable, although it goes without saying that I'll perpetually be behind given the other competing demands in my life. I'm all for helping people out, and I do my best to get to everything. However, I thought this might be a good avenue to note that shorter inquiries that can be answered quickly are always going to be handled more promptly than "super duper long" emails with picture attachments. If your back hurts, please just tell me so in a matter of 2-3 sentences. I don't need to know your favorite color, the reason why you and your gf broke up, or why you have a weird rash.

2. Its super annoying to see somebody wear their collars up! They’re just asking to be punched in the face…. Repeatedly!!... Preferably with a brick!!! Bonus points if the brick happens to be on fire. When Im CHILAXN at Sabor Lounge, my group of friends will refuse to speak to you if you are wearing sunglasses inside the club and if your collar is up. Also, if im making my way towards the bathroom, do not try to hold a conversation with me - that is equally as annoying as texting in the movies.

 

 

3. It is insanely annoying that there are STILL people that want to argue with me over my Yoga Article. Let me clarify… I think yoga MOSTLY sucks, it doesn’t COMPLETELY suck. There’s a big difference. Matter of fact, the only things I would say “100% sucks” are:

a.) Getting your car vandalized by high school volleyball players (twice in a matter of 24 hours – DAMN, JASON! Fyi: the ring leader is a tall blond)

b.) Trying to keep 24 high school girls volleyball players inside a smelly room with football players roaming around outside with their shirts off.

c.) The fact that the Quaker Oats Company discontinued Mr. T cereal before I arrived in the US.

 

Needless to say, I’m still dumbfounded when I overhear people claim that stretching their lower back (like some of the poses advocated in yoga) “feels good”. Picking a scab feels good too, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for you. What happens when you a pick scab? Eventually you’re going to develop scar tissue. The same can be said about the lumbar spine when you consistently take it into positions that it’s not accustomed to or designed to be in. Despite what many of us in the fitness industry say on the contrary, some people still think that stretching their lower back is good or “healthy.”

 

The fact of the matter is, the lumbar spine has approximately two degrees of rotary movement from L1-L4, and L5-S1 may have up to five degrees of rotary movement. All in all, the total ROM for rotation of the lumbar spine is roughly 13 degrees. Long story short, for those who have a history of low back pain…please stop stretching your back! (If your name is Simona, read the previous line again… ask Mr. Varsity Football to massage your kinks out instead). Learn to stabilize the lumbar spine while promoting mobility in the hips and thoracic spine (don’t know how, ask me!). Conversely don’t listen to any yoga instructor or physician who state all you need to do is stretch your back. They’re mis-informed and there is absolutely no research to back their claims up. However, there is some research demonstrating an inverse relationship between the stupidity of “some” yoga instructors and the likelihood I’ll want to face claw them.

Related reading: Click to read Jot Sheet 4 - scroll down and look for Hits and Misses (refer to #1)

4. Jorge Cruise, author of “The 12 Second Sequence”, annoys the living shit out of me. You know those Bud Light beer commercials titled “Real Men of Genius?” Probably some of the funniest (yet true) commercials of all time. Examples include: Mr. Push Up Bra Inventor, Mr. Over Zealous Foul Ball Catcher Guy, Mr. King of the Karaoke Mic. I’m going to put my nomination in to Jorge Cruise (aka: Mr. Cater to Lazy Americans Guy). It took Jorge Cruise and his staff 2 years to come up with a protocol that takes a 9 minute workout to a 90 second routine using 4 reps. According to him, all you need to do is follow his program for 20 minutes, twice per week and you’ll totally be hot. I have a pet unicorn who knows more about exercise physiology than Jorge Cruise. I have to give the guy some credit though. He’s great at motivating people to move, and his overall message does have some merit. Mainly stating that while “cardio” is good for the heart and does help to burn some fat, it’s only when one engages in strength training and builds lean body mass that they will experience the “after burn” and burn MORE calories (and hence fat) while at rest. This I agree with. I just don’t agree with his notion that all it will take is 20 minutes, two times per week using a silly tempo of twelve second repetitions. That’s why he’s a genius. Americans want easy and they want simple. It’s marketing at it’s finest.

 

5. I am annoyed by people that tell me they cant afford my training rate. There should not be a price when it comes to your heath! Why is it that cable TV, luxury car payments and Starbucks have become necessities in the households of most Americans but a gym membership and especially a personal trainer/performance coach has not made it into that list of necessities yet? A personal trainer is still considered by most a “luxury” item. Put your health first!  

6. I find it annoying that people deprive themselves of food. Just because im a trainer doesn’t mean I’ll be impressed when you say you do an hour of cardio a day and eat salads all day! That is not the way of life. A better idea is to eat several healthy meals and snacks per day. Don't allow yourself to get too hungry and never skip breakfast, as this has been shown to lead to overcompensation later in the day. For your last meal of the day, choose something with plenty of protein but fewer carbs than you consumed with your other meals. A lean meat and a small green salad with olive oil would work well here. As a rule of thumb, consume most of your carbs at breakfast and after your workout, but go easy on them late at night! If you want to go eat sushi with me, I'll take care of drinks (i.e. free water with ice for everybody) and you pay for the food. If we eat at La Vics, orange sauce and drink refills on me.

7. Plantar fasciitis is fucking annoying. Im starting to develop it from the heel spur im getting and everyday I wake up wanting to throw a javelin to my left foot. How many NBA players go on the injured list due to plantar fasciitis? Gazillion! The average NBA player has very little dorsiflexion range of motion (ankle). The only way the epidemic of plantar fasciitis, Achilles tendinosis, high ankle sprains, and patellofemoral pain is going to stop is if the players quite wearing 10-pound high top sneakers and taping their ankles. Or, at the very least, lose the tape and focus on barefoot training, low-top shoes off the court, and plenty of ankle mobility work.

8. You’re annoying if you keep having self doubts and think you can never do things because “life aint fair”. While Im on the subject of ranting on peoples habits/tendencies let me just continue by stating  "I dont like it as well when people… 

... assume and say I can't without even trying." 

 … are always late, negative, lazy."

… interrupt me to correct my grammar/speech and pay no attention to the point I’m trying to make."

… wait until the last minute to do something."

Take a lesson from a 5 year old. Diana is 5 and doctors say she'll never walk on her own without a walker. She is currently in intensive physical therapy to learn to walk on her own and it is amazing to see her determination and positive outlook on life. She works with the therapist for 4 hours at a time (doing squats and leg lifts) twice a day! I see her for one hour twice a week to do random "play time". She usually wears a suit that provides enough support so she can walk around for a little bit when I release the support. One day, she didnt need that suit. She walked towards me on her own. She took one step and looked liked she was about to lose her balance but after a few seconds she took 3 more steps and fell in my arms. At the end of our session her little legs are shaking and shes exhausted but she still manages to smile and laugh. It is amazing how the human body responds and adapts to the demands placed on it- just goes to show anything is possible if you put your mind into it! She inspires me everyday.

9. "Train to drain" coaches is more annoying than the question “hey, do you have myspace?” (For the record, I don’t! Why? Because I am grown!). Rodney is a 14 year old soccer player who was attending my summer development camp. I recalled a few mornings (last month) where he came looking tired, pale and extremely low in energy. After chatting with him and his mom about what was the matter, I found out that Rodney had been trying out for a new soccer team and that each of the 2-hour practices had involved nothing more than wind sprints and various forms of "agility" training. His new Coach considered that time of the year to be the "pre-season" and so was working at increasing the level of his athlete's "mental toughness and conditioning". That is the kind of crap that goes on day-in and day-out worldwide with respect to young athletes and sport. Coaches who don't know. Trainers who don't get it. And the troubling part is that it really is a simple equation. Any sort of training stimulus sends the body into a  state of catabolism (a breaking down phase). If the training was not too tough and in accordance with proper recovery strategies (sleep, nutrition etc) the body will "bounce" from this catabolic state and become anabolic (a building up phase). But the primary factor necessary for this to happen is the "toughness" of the training. Dont make things hard all the time for the young athletes and truly believe that if they aren't sweating or near exhaustion, the training session just wasn't worth the time. That's not to say you don't train your young athletes hard from time to time or create enough bodily stress in order to create an adaptation - you certainly do. But it's the mindless attention we pay to the "hard"  component of our training programs that need a serious second look.

10. Pet Peeves (not in any particular order): Minor annoyances that can causes great frustration.

  • An unmade bed. You will never spend the night ever again if you leave my bed unmade!
  • E-Cards. I would prefer hearing your voice.
  • Needless meetings. I don’t like wasting time!
  • A dirty stove top. When finished cooking, all food particles should be cleaned off the stove.
  • People who bite their nails. Gross!
  • When you're trying to walk in the mall and there's a kiosk and they hound you to try their cell phone service or whatever.
  • People with no concept of “personal accountability”.
  • Getting stuck at red lights, while nobody is going the other direction.
  • Hypocrites (yeah, you know who your are). 
  • Fake laughter. 
  • When the string on my shorts goes inside the waist lining or it disappears after doing laundry.
  • Students who prolong class by asking the most inane questions.
  • When people take 20 napkins, use one, then throw them all away.
  • People that make tons and tons of noise while working out.
  • Telling your friend to ask for my number. Grow some balls and talk to me so i dont give you the reject number. Here are some of the numbers I've used (it’s a real working number with a special message, call the number and see for yourself). Feel free to use it if you happen to find a guy/girl that just cant take "no" for an answer .
    • 818-301-6845 Los Angeles
    • 310-217-7638 Los Angeles
    • 310-735-0099 Los Angeles
    • 916-384-0237 Sacramento
    • 858-492-8002 San Diego
    • 415-356-9833 San Francisco
    • 415-228-0207 San Francisco